Some time back, I was reminiscing about my old ‘dummy’ days. When I couldn’t operate a smart ‘touch screen’ phone, using a computer was sort of a mystery to me , the vocabulary I used to use and generally my behavior. Nimetoka mbali sana.
By ‘old days’ I mean about 4 years ago when I got done with high school. Anybody who really knows me from that time till now, or since the start of campus knows I’ve changed over time in different facets of my life; physically, mindset, spiritually, socially, name it.
Not to blow my own trumpet, but one thing I like about myself is that I’m ever-growing.I’m open-minded and I don’t shy away from transforming, even if it’s every 5 seconds, as long as I can get to be a better version of myself.
Now, I know it’s almost that time of the year when we make resolutions and the word on almost everybody’s lips is change. I’m gonna change my eating habits, I’m gonna change the state of my spirituality. I’m gonna change my approach to relationships…yada yada yada.
Have you ever reached a point in your life when you said” I don’t like who I am or I don’t like where I’m at in my life “?
I know I have. The first time is when I wanted to heal from my disordered eating. Another time was when I was in some situationship and realized how my self image and esteem was damaged. The third time was when I realized that I needed to up my spirituality and live intentionally for God.
In each of this times, I knew I could do better. My (then) current situation wasn’t serving me well. I felt devastated and unhappy but there was this flicker of hope encouraging me, you can change. Give it a try.
Maybe you’re or have been in a similar situation where you just didn’t like the situation of life you’re at. Maybe you’ve succumbed in drug abuse, sexual immorality, depression, your spiritual life is crippled, laziness and lack of productivity. You name it. Or it could be the small stuff like taming your mouth(this is me😂) , or showing up better in relationships.
Whatever it is, you can change. You can reinvent yourself and be at a place full of peace, joy and fulfilment.
Maybe you really want to change but you jusr don’t know where to start. Firstly, you’ve got to be honest with yourself and ask yourself some honest questions. If you really want to take some practical steps towards the best version of yourself, you could write down these questions:
1. What do you imagine to be the best version of yourself?
Just take a moment and reflect. If you could let go of some things(or people) what would be your best self be?
Look at every area of your life: mentally, emotionally, spiritually, financially, physically, etc
The best version of yourself is someone you imagine in your head and admire. Some pointers could be the people you look up to or just admire. What are those qualities you wish you had?
Write them down.
2. Is there something you can do to become that best version?
First things first, there’re some things we simply can’t change like some physical attributes or genes. Unless, you want to go the plastic surgery way and/or bleaching, which I wouldn’t advise you to.
But there’re things you can change like your state of mind, your language, your relationship with God, how you relate with others, how you handle money, taking care of your body and what have you.
Write down those things you can change.
3. What practical steps can you take towards becoming that person(best version of yourself)?
Note the word: PRACTICAL
If you want to improve your personal health, please don’t go on unrealistic diets and work out regimes that will only serve you for a month or less, then you revert back to your old self.
Start small and as you get stronger, you can build up on the momentum.
Maybe if you need to improve on your vocabulary or writing skills, start by reading a few pages of a book each day. Don’t schedule 3 books per month then when you fail, give up on yourself and start think this ain’t for me. Start small.
Keep it real and honest.
4 . Stay accountable.
Sometimes we fail because we don’t have someone to push us or remind us that we can do it. And I also know that sometimes it’s hard to get an accountability partner especially if you’re the only one who believes in your change.
So, where you can, get an accountability partner to keep you grounded. Don’t let fear or pride to hold you back from asking for help.( I need this too)
5. Review and give yourself grace.
Take time to look back and see how far you’ve come. Even if nobody else does, give yourself a pat on the back and celebrate yourself. You deserve it. Let it fuel you to even work harder at improving yourself.
Also,learn to give yourself grace when you fail. You won’t do it right every time.
Sometimes the old demons will come calling you back to your old self. You might go back sometimes. But that doesn’t mean you can’t get back.up. In.such moments, checkwhat made you vulnerable to the temptation to fall back and how you can prevent it once the temptation presents itself again.
When you fail or it gets hard, it doesn’t. Mean you should give up. It means you should work harder. Remember why you decided to embark in your journey. You could even write down somewhere you can see everyday to keep you motivated.
The key is to believe YOU CAN CHANGE.People may think different but what they think is none of your business. Be who you believe you can be.
I have learnt to see myself as a gem covered in layers of soil. And with every old habit I shed, I shine brighter. No matter the layers of soil that cover me, that doesn’t change the gem I am deep down. I still have a lot to shade off, this isn’t the best version of me yet. A month, year from now, I shall be different, but better. And so can you, if only you believe you can , take the practical steps forward and give yourself grace along the way.
Hey Friend, I hope this post has been helpful to you. In case you want to delve (a little bit😉)deeper and know more, get my eBook, The Planting Season that will help you through the start of change, the qualities you need to learn,overcoming the frustrations that come along the way and finding joy in it before you get the best results. It’s been of great help to many and I do hope you get yourself a copy.