A few weeks ago, I asked some of my friends on WhatsApp to give me suggestions on the topics they’d want me to write about. One of them requested me to write on how to handle your flaws to prevent it from slowing your personal growth.And I sort of added this part; “…while still Loving Yourself”.
I found that a bit challenging for me honestly, especially right now when I’m toying with the idea of writing a book on self love and haven’t figured it all out in my self love game.
There’re things I haven’t yet fully accepted about myself and more specifically my character of been quite loud and blunt, sometimes saying things that are quite hurtful. You see, when I’m alone, I see this quiet and calm girl who measures her words, but you wait until I’m in a crowd or group of people I’m totally comfortable with. Words fly out of my mouth so fast that I start to wonder where all that came from. I start to wonder what’s with my double personality issues 😂.
Why did I say that? Why can’t I just be calm and collected just like who and who.
But the moment I’m quiet like that, I feel I’m not being my realest self.
I’m yet to accept that part of me fully ’cause I find myself beating myself up a couple of times when I get back to my cocoon .While I got more flaws that I could improve on, that stands out the most.
So when someone asks me to write about handling my flaws while still Loving myself, I’m not sure I got the right answers. And as much as I believe that we can become the best version of ourselves, I also know that we are human and imperfect. No one is perfect. Even the nicest people got some flaws that can be quite annoying and/or hurtful to others. I just realized that some know how to hide them better than others, while others have learnt to take back their power and gain some control over their flaws.
Personally, I’m trying to remind myself to think before I talk and to be careful about the things I think about and keep in my heart because as Bible verse goes, out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaketh.
And just like any other habit, it’s hard to change something you’re used to doing, most especially when you have done it practically your whole life.
Here are some more practical tips and nuggets to help us handle our flaws;
- Invite God into your situation and ask Him to guide you most especially when your flaws are trying to bring you down. God is the Source of Wisdom and He’ll help you know how you can do better. In our weaknesses, God is our strength.
- Never hold back on self love because of your flaws and I dare say, however grave they are. One thing that keeps me going is knowing that, God loves me with ALL my flaws. I mean, he died for each and every sinner. And even if that should not be an excuse for us to do nothing about becoming better versions of ourselves, it’s a reminder that I can still extend grace to myself even when I messed up.
- Flaws keep us humble. They remind us that we are not perfect and so let go of our judgementalism and self righteousness.We all have fallen short of His glory and none of us is better than the other.
- Flaws make us need God.Would you really seek His help and guidance and grace if you were perfect?
- Flaws help us also to be gracious to others when they mess up knowing that we do fall too, just differently.
- If there’s something you can do about it, do it. Ask yourself is there something I can do to totally get rid of it or can I atleast manage it?List your flaws. And know what you can change and what you can’t. With what you can change, have a game plan. More often than not, we have all the answers within us. Asking for help from someone you trust would be awesome too.
- Some flaws do not change, we just learn to manage them and when we mess up, we pick ourselves up, dust off and keep going.
One last thing you should never forget;
Your flaws are not the only things to be said and known about you. Look at the positive things about yourself and never ignore them. List them down and celebrate them. Cause you’re an awesome human being, flaws and all💕
Keep growing and glowing ✨