I broke up with you,
Yet you keep trying
To crawl your way back
Reminding me of the many reasons
why we should get back together
I don’t have my life together
Set backs that wanna kill my dream
I made hella stupid mistakes in the past
How close am I even to the life I dream of?

But you forget how toxic our relationship was
Killing my insides is what you’re best at
Telling me what I can’t do
Any time I’m about to smile
Or simply enjoy a moment
You devilishly sneak in
And remind me of everything wrong in my life

With you , I lived in a dark world
There’s always something to worry about
Something to grumble and complain about
“Happiness is just an illusion
It’s for the small minded and naïve
Look at the bigger picture
Look at all the problems in the world,”
You said

With you,
There were so many moments unlived

But I’m not of your world anymore
I belong to the light now
And in our world,
There’s always something to be
Grateful for
Something to be joyful about
It’s the little things that count
The mere movement of our feet
The brightness and warmth of the sun
The laughs with friends
The small wins…

You see, there isn’t any space for you
Here anymore
I’m in a new relationship now
and pretty excited about it actually
My new love is called Joy
and I’ve never been happier
I know that makes you jealous
You might be roaring in anger right now
But that’s exactly how I want you to feel

You see, with joy
I can dream
I can hope for a better future
Something I couldn’t do with you
You always reminded of my past
failures and shortcomings
You pushed me down and left me
stuck in that dark pit
But now  I have the energy to work towards a better future
My past doesn’t define me
Nor can I change it
It only made me wiser and stronger

With Joy, I can be lost in the moment
And enjoy  every bit of it
I can soak in  all the goodness
leaving all the problems behind
Because in this moment
There’re no problems

With Joy, I can celebrate others
‘Cause I know my turn is coming too
And soon

So depression, even though
There’re so many reasons
Why we should get back together
I can’t
I won’t
You don’t deserve me
Nor do you deserve anyone else
I’m not falling for your trap a second time
So quit trying
You stole my joy and peace before
Not again

For how long  did you think
we would last though?
Till death do us part?
So you could steal my whole destiny away?
Then move on with my friends?
Don’t you ever have enough?

I choose to be happy
I choose to focus on my blessings
You’re not welcome here.

Hey friend, that’s a letter I wrote a while back when I was in a good head space ,but the dark thoughts tried to crawl back in. I promised myself I would never fall back into that dark pit again and so it was due time I  ‘officially broke up’ with depression(mild).

If you’ve battled with it or just dark thoughts on your mind, maybe it’s time you did the same. Cut your ties with it we no prospects of going back.

If you were to write a letter to it, what would you say?Lemme know in the comments.

Stay blessed❤ and choose to think life giving thoughts.


4 Comments

Vivian M · November 15, 2018 at 10:19 am

Hey Jules, I love this one very much… I can relate with every bit. Nice piece.

    jules · November 15, 2018 at 3:58 pm

    Wow!we go through this stuff and I’m glad it’s a reminder that you’re not alone. Be blessed

Ndungu · November 15, 2018 at 11:07 am

Leo umegonga ndipo. I feel encouraged.

    jules · November 15, 2018 at 3:57 pm

    Thank you Ndungu. I’m so glad it encouraged you

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