Come down zakayo was a phrase hilariously used by one of my high school teachers , to simply mean be humble.
In a generation where it’s common to hear phrases such as ‘ I don’t apologize’ and people segregating themselves in classes or ‘levels’ it’s safe to say we’re a proud generation. Each one of us could be guilty in one way or another of being proud, even in areas we may think have nothing to do with pride.
I came to realize that I had pride issue last year, and early 2019 I realized I still have a lot of work to do to kill this vice.
You don’t have to be looking down on others to be proud. Maybe it’s certain mindsets you’ve held on to for long but refuse to change because you don’t want to upset your ego. Maybe you didn’t believe in God but the situations around you give all the evidence of His existence and love and you help but believe He’s real and He loves you. Yet your ego doesn’t want to let go of your former beliefs. That’s a pride problem.
Maybe when you have conflicts with your friends or family, you always wait for the other person to break the ice and apologize. You’re always the one who’s been wronged or hurt. It’s never something you did wrong or even if you did, it’s excusable, just not for the other person. Well honey, sorry to burst your bubble but that’s a pride problem.
Or maybe you’ve always told yourself you’ll not forge relationships or even talk to certain people; maybe those living in lower standards than you or people younger than you. What do they they have to offer anyway?
I could mention numerous ways in which we’re proud. Sometimes knowingly and other times unknowingly. The thing with pride is that it may not only hurt others but also yourself.
When you refuse to let go of certain beliefs to keep your ego, you’re only stopping yourself from growing and thriving.
When you don’t associate with certain people, you prevent yourself from learning and even mentoring somebody.
Refusing to be the bigger person in conflicts and apologizing, could lead to broken relationships that could have actually flourished and y’all can grow together.
For the short time I’ve been aware that i have a pride issue, here’s what I’ve learnt:
1.Respect everybody. Whether young or old. Rich or poor. Good diction or bad diction. Good looking or not-so-goodlooking (in your perception). Everybody deserves respect. They could teach you something you don’t know. They could help you see things about yourself or your future that you couldn’t. Or maybe you’re the missing link in their lives for them, to help them get to the next level.
2.Let go of beliefs that don’t serve you anymore. These could be beliefs concerning spirituality, who you are, relationships and what have you.You outrightly know that these beliefs are lies you told yourself or got from society . When the time comes to embrace truth, Don’t shy from it. Dare to change.
3.Apologizing doesn’t make you weak nor does it make you any less of a person. It simply means you value peace over pride. Instead of making up assumptions in your mind and loathing the other person, simply approach the person and talk things out. The more you stay silent the higher the wall between you two builds up.You may not get the best response from the other person, but atleast you’ll have spoken your mind and poured your heart out. You’ll not be left with what ifs.
And if all goes well, your relationship is rekindled and it gets stronger.
There’s so much more I’ve been learning concerning humility and as I continue to learn I’ll be sharing with you, as always.
I’d also want to learn from you too:-)
Remember, being proud doesn’t add value to you. Your self worth doesn’t decrease when you’re humble enough to learn from others.Allow others to take the shine at times, instead of you.
Step out of your ego, friend, and grow. Reach out to others even when they seem silent on you. Maybe they’re going through a difficult time. Stop waiting to be always the one people look for. Show others you care. You’ll grow so much and reach greater heights;spiritually, socially,emotionally, that you never thought you could get to.
Do a self revaulation and see if you can point out areas in your life where pride has taken the lead. Then find small but effective ways to change that.
Remember also extend grace to yourself even as you point out this faulty areas. We all fall short in some ways. What matters is that we correct the areas we’ve been doing it wrong and with time, we get to be the best version of ourselves.
So the next time you find yourself being proud, remember to sit down, be humble or come down zakayo (and add a little tap on the head😂)
Ciao! Till next Thursday.
You could also check out the ” MY STORY” category and contact me(firstname.lastname@example.org) if you’d like to share your story to inspire someone.