Little girl dreams are bigger than they seem

I’m thinking about my future in my daily routine

Blue house and a picket fence

That’s the kind of innocence that makes me wanna wait

Until my wedding day Standing face to face with the love I know is true

I’ll promise him forever from the day we say, “I do”

I’ve got my white boots

My white dress

And baby, I ain’t getting them dusty

All I need you to bring

Are the rings

And I know in time I’ll be ready

Cause I’ve been waiting, waiting, waiting,

Waiting, waiting, waiting on you

The above song; white boots, by Jamie Grace is one I have always resonated with. And I bet other girls, who have chosen to wait for sex till marriage, do too.

Waiting for sex till marriage isn’t a popular concept in our society today.  It’s so hard especially with everything being oversexualized from music videos, movies, tv shows, books…name it. From personal experience, when you tell people that you’re waiting for sex till marriage, you’re viewed as a prude, weirdo or uptight.

It has become a norm, whether you are religious or not, that if you’re dating, you should definitely be having sex. I remember one time we were having a discussion with some members of my church group on whether sex is a must in a (premarital) relationship (or simply dating). And one person commented, ” if we are not having sex, then tunado?”

Well, that’s a discussion for another day.Today, I wanna share my reasons for choosing to wait for sex till marriage. Before that, lemme share a bit of my story.

Since I was young, I always desired that the first person I’d have sex with would be my husband. No one really told me much about sex apart from the pregnancy scares of having sex at a young age. But as I grew up, I was scared of rejection especially when I would start dating and told my partner that I wanted to wait till marriage.

And even though back then my faith wasn’t as strong as it is now, it wasn’t something I was willing to give up just like that. To be honest, I had some sort of fear that if I had sex before marriage, God would be really angry with me and not love me anymore (which isn’t really true)

As I grew up, I knew that my probability of dating was higher and I needed to know how to go about this sex situation before I got rejected. I remember asking a friend, “Do you think it’s possible for a guy to accept to be in a relationship without having sex? And she bluntly told that it’s highly impossible. That was disappointing and so I decided, in my mind, to compromise. That I would only have sex with whomever I was gonna date if only I felt the love was real.

So I found myself in a situationship and even though I won’t share the finer details with you, he wanted to have sex, and I didn’t. He seemed like the whole package at the time and so I was willing to give up my values to keep him. But thank God for showing me what was dysfunctional and we didn’t proceed further.

Retrospectively, I knew I had to work on my inner issues, to hold my ground concerning my values, one of them being saving myself for marriage. I also understood why it’s important for me as a Christian to stay sexually pure  not just due to fear of losing God’s love (His love is eternal and nothing can separate us from His love). It may not be popular but it is what I want and now, I’m unmovable.

So why exactly do I choose to wait to have sex till marriage?

1.To honor God:

Someone will say, “I am allowed to do anything.” Yes; but not everything is good for you. I could say that I am allowed to do anything, but I am not going to let anything make me its slave. Someone else will say, “Food is for the stomach, and the stomach is for food.” Yes; but God will put an end to both. The body is not to be used for sexual immorality, but to serve the Lord; and the Lord provides for the body. God raised the Lord from death, and he will also raise us by his power.  You know that your bodies are parts of the body of Christ. Shall I take a part of Christ’s body and make it part of the body of a prostitute? Impossible! Or perhaps you don’t know that the man who joins his body to a prostitute becomes physically one with her? The scripture says quite plainly, “The two will become one body.” But he who joins himself to the Lord becomes spiritually one with him.  Avoid immorality. Any other sin a man commits does not affect his body; but the man who is guilty of sexual immorality sins against his own body. Don’t you know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, who lives in you and who was given to you by God? You do not belong to yourselves but to God; he bought you for a price. So use your bodies for God’s glory.

1 Corinthians 6:12-20

My body belongs to God and I choose to only allow in he who has been anointed my God for me ; my husband.

2.To avoid soul ties-.

Do you not know that he who unites himself with a prostitute is one with her in body? For it is said, “The two will become one flesh.”

1 Corinthians 6:16

I Know some people do not believe in soul ties but whether you believe in them or not, they do exist. Simply, a soul  the ties is a spiritual union you have with someone you’ve had sex with, because sex is more than just a physical union.

For married couples, soul ties are good as they draw them even closer to one another. But with casual sex outside marriage, you’re joining yourself to someone you don’t know much and that’s why you may find it’s hard for some people to break away from some toxic relationships especially when sex is involved.

You  can more read on soul ties here

Sex is like gluing two pieces of wood together and the next day ripping them apart. Of course, wood from the opposite board remains on each board. A piece of your sex partner (the good, bad, and ugly) stays with you (and vice versa)

I need to mention  that soul ties are breakable even though it takes some work.


3. No pregnancy scares or STDs 

Honestly, there are some struggles I know I can simply avoid. This by no means places a blame or victimization on rape victims, nobody deserves that.

But when it comes to a point of choosing, no thanks! I can wait 😂, I have enough struggles.

So those are my top three reasons why I choose to wait for sex till marriage. This by no means places judgement on anyone who lives differently. Yes, fornication is a sin but God forgives every sin and it’s possible to live a sexually pure life.It’s not easy, to be honest, whether you’re dating or not I personally haven’t dated before(check out my book on this) but I know that temptations are always there; left, right and centre but I (& others) are holding on strong. I normally focus on my why.

If you’d want me to write more on this topic or have any questions, kindly lemme know in the comments section.


Kate · September 5, 2019 at 10:46 am

wow julie. I wish you were my smaller sis

    Jules · September 5, 2019 at 12:27 pm

    Haha, why dear?

Preston · September 5, 2019 at 11:07 am

God bless you for this Jules

    Jules · September 5, 2019 at 12:27 pm

    Thank you and God bless you too Preston

Achola · September 5, 2019 at 11:24 am

This is a very deep piece, may God bless you, it’s as well so timely coz sex outside wedlock is one of the great weapons that the enemy uses to disconnect great instruments that God has chosen.
kindly go ahead with more insights on this , more grace

    Jules · September 5, 2019 at 12:28 pm

    Very well said and true. And people don’t realize it.

    Thank you and I sure will 😊

Eric · September 5, 2019 at 11:32 am

“And she bluntly told that it’s highly impossible”
Don’t be so sure

    Jules · September 5, 2019 at 12:29 pm

    So I have learnt. There are many people out there willing to wait.

iano · September 5, 2019 at 3:35 pm

How i wish this could get to our younger brothers & sisters at least a shift from the “wamlambez” things so they grow with a different mentality on sexuality. I have learned a lot I wish I saw this 10 years back.

    Jules · September 5, 2019 at 3:59 pm

    You can share it with them Ian as I do my best to share the message too.

    We live, we learn. And there’s always a chance for redemption.

    You can start anew💯

Royalty · September 5, 2019 at 4:51 pm

Jules!! Wow! Loveed this post, thank you for writing so openly. Please CONTINUE with the topic. God bless you

    Jules · September 5, 2019 at 8:01 pm

    Thank you Royalty 😊😊. I sure will keep writing more on this topic. God bless you too 💕

Gitari · September 5, 2019 at 6:00 pm

This is a good read Jules, can’t wait for more

    Jules · September 5, 2019 at 8:00 pm

    Thank you dear. More is coming 😊

Kinyua · September 5, 2019 at 10:53 pm

This is a great piece Jules

    Jules · September 6, 2019 at 10:53 am

    Thank you 😊

Cornelius · September 7, 2019 at 9:48 am

I love this,..proves that amidst the storms, solid rocks still stand…waiting for more of such reads, God bless Julie

    Jules · September 7, 2019 at 11:43 am

    Thank you Cornelius and yes, we keep holding on strong 😊.More reads are coming; make sure you’re subscribed:-) God bless you too✨

Salat · September 7, 2019 at 10:45 am

Nice, please inform us on the other side of sex before marriage, I mean the struggle leading to the eventual breaking of soul ties..Thanks

    Jules · September 7, 2019 at 11:41 am

    Hey Salat. I will definitely cover that area. This is the first article on this category of sex and purity. So stay tuned 😊

Thuita · September 11, 2019 at 4:29 pm

Hi Julie!

I visited your blog and kinda liked it, especially the articles on self-esteem and self-love. When you get time, please visit my blog ( and let me know how you find it. Thanks.


    Jules · September 12, 2019 at 7:41 am

    Hey Thuita, I’ll check it out and respond to you Soon.

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